I never wanted to be Her.

I never wanted to be the Her you spoke of crudely.
I only ever wanted your love.
But you spoke to who I was so rudely
And it stifled what I am made of.

I never wanted to be a man-hating feminist.
You spoke about them like they were dirt.
But if you hadn’t always been such a misogynist,
my perception of men would be so hurt.

I never wanted to be your failure,
just my own heart’s seeker for success.
But expectations made me quiver,
and now passion, I feel less and less.

I never wanted to be a disgrace,
reminding you of your darkest hour.
But when I look into your face
I see decades of greed seeking power.

I never wanted to be an outsider–
speaking out against the crowd.
Now I’ve become a freedom writer,
Braver than ever, strong and loud.

I never wanted to be Her–
the girl you spoke of with such distain.
You challenged me, but couldn’t conquer,
though your attempts left me in horrendous pain.

You stomped out all my truth,
and planted lies inside my brain.
But that Girl was never my enemy,
and from Her, a divine woman will remain.

-Rachel Blair

 

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